Temple Emanu-El of Bayonne, NJ

By Rabbi Shaul Marshall Praver

As human beings, we often find ourselves yearning for something more, something better than what we‘ve got. It’s a common feeling, but one that can be dangerous if left unchecked. Many of us live comfortably in our homes, with our loved ones, in our jobs and social circles, yet we can find ourselves feeling unfulfilled.  This is often because of the way we think. It’s easy to get caught up in the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side. This tendency to compare and grow jealous, has been a pitfall to many.  However, with some reflection, we can learn to steer clear of it. 

The Torah offers much insight and wisdom on this question.  Pirkei Avot advises that happiness can only be achieved by being content with what one has.  “Who is wealthy? One who is happy with his lot!” (Avot 4:1). This teaching of Ben Zoma is one of the most quoted verses in rabbinic literature, but also the least observed. Humanity by its very nature, is never satisfied with its lot. “One who has one hundred, wants two hundred, and one who has two hundred wants four hundred” (Kohelet Rabba 1:13). 

However, the matter is more complicated and has an additional dimension to consider. The desire for more also serves an important collective purpose. At the heart of innovation is this desire for more.  “If not for this natural inclination for more, no person would build a house, get married, or beget children” (Breisheet Rabba 9:7). Ben Zoma understood both dimensions very well. One may strive for more while simultaneously being satisfied with whatever one has along life’s  journey. This is a difficult balance to acquire but one that brings great joy to those who achieve it.

World literature as well has explored this fundamental dynamic in human experience. From the ancient Greeks to modern-day authors, the idea that there is something better out there has captivated our imaginations. In Homer’s epic poem, The Odyssey, Odysseus, the protagonist, journeys home after a long and brutal war with Troy. In his absence, his wife Penelope has been courted by suitors who are eager to take Odysseus’ place as king. Despite facing innumerable challenges on his journey, Odysseus never forgets his true purpose – to return home. Though the temptation of the siren’s song calls out to him, he remains steadfast in his pursuit of his goal. In the end, he returns home to find that he already had everything he needed – a loving wife, a loyal son, and a loyal dog.

In his novel, The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald explores the idea of the elusive American Dream. Jay Gatsby, the titular character, is a man who has risen to the top of society, yet is never truly satisfied. He throws extravagant parties, buys expensive cars and clothes, and moves in the highest social circles. However, despite all his material gains, he is still searching for something he can’t seem to find. He yearns for Daisy, the love of his life, but is haunted by the fear that he is not good enough for her. The tragic irony is that Gatsby already had everything he truly needed. He had love, friendship, and loyalty from his neighbor Nick, and the admiration of countless partygoers, but he could never fully appreciate it because of his obsession with Daisy and his belief that he needed her to be happy.

In each of these examples, the characters are haunted by a sense of longing or yearning for something more – yet that something is often an illusion. They are tasked with seeing the blessings they have in front of them. The voice of wisdom, urges them to savor what they have and be fully present in the moment, rather than looking for something more.  In the case of Odysseus, he succeeded, but not so much in Jay Gatsby’s case. 

There is an almost Satanic voice within each of us that can compel us to endlessly pursue more, to always seek greener pastures. But it’s important to remember that while ambition and drive can be great motivators, they can also lead us down a dangerous path. The key is to internalize the message of the Greek philosopher Epicurus – “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

As we move closer to the high holy days, let us review these essential lessons. My dear friends, may we all be written in the book of ambition and the book of happiness; and may those books bring us to a secure place of balance; and with this balance, may we achieve great joy and gladness of spirit; and may this joy and gladness of spirit nourish our physical health so that we may enjoy the pleasures of life. Amen.